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Emotions. One of the hardest things to talk about and express. When someone asks you ‘how are you?’, do you think twice about you response? If you say, ‘I'm having a bad day, I'm not great or I'm having a tough time’ do you worry how they will respond?
We generally try to respond in a positive way for fear of pushing people away, fear of giving them more to deal with than they have in their life already or to skip quickly to the next stage of the conversation.
Why do we fear or have a problem talking about our emotions? Do we think people may see us as weak or vulnerable? Do you avoid people who openly talk about their emotions, in case it makes you start to examine your own feels. Opening Pandora Box!
I asked a few people and it was interesting that some felt a pressure to present an ‘up’ image, a profile of happiness as it might reflect on their parenting, friendship or relationship skills. They didn’t want people to see the ‘deeper layers’.
Also, several mentioned the ‘rejected’ feeling after opening up about feelings, only to find they get tagged as a ‘miserable’ or ‘a depressing’ person to be around. It seems that emotional expression is a lethal weapon that can only be exposed to trusted and caring friends or family.
But why do we fear emotions? Could it be we are lacking the ‘emotional intelligence’ to understand the complexity or language of emotions? Does it reflect our vulnerability talking about how we really feel?
These are good questions to ask ourselves and how we respond to people. I was interested to find out about the physical response to emotions and how emotions, our behaviour, physical and mental responses were far more connected than I ever imagined.
Click on the link for more on this.
As you see from the images, it's a total body response (heart beats, blood pressure and sometimes, irrational thoughts.
As parents or educators, perhaps we need to spend more time listening and talking about emotions. As friends be more supportive and with ourselves, be more honest about how we feel.
So, how are you feeling today? Be honest, say it to yourself and reflect on your answers. Think about the positives and the negatives, open up those 'boxes' we hide things in and try to sort them out, mentally. What is holding you back, what can you bring forward.
I am having an 'o.k' day. I have some things I have to sort out, bills to pay, emails etc but that's life. I have had a few laughs, so emotionally I am somewhere in 'the middle' today. Thanks for asking!